5 Ways I Fail at Being a Girl

Being a girl is hard, I constantly compare myself to others which I know is wrong. Trying to copy that Love Island look i've found myself in some embarrassing situations. Below are my top 5 biggest fails.

Nails

I naturally have super tiny baby hands, this wouldn't be a big deal if it weren't for my awful

habit of biting my finger nails. It's something I've always done, either that or picking the skin around the nail. I've tried every trick to stop it, all the serums, nail polish... Granted I never tried hypnotherapy. Every girl I see seems to have these perfectly shaped beautiful feminine hands and nails but me. I know acrylics are a big thing now, I did consider jumping on this bandwagon but I knew I'd only pick them off. Plus forgive me if I'm wrong but most nail salons would refuse to even do them to nail stubbs surrounded by broken skin.

Recently I did have a bit of a turning point with my nails, my boyfriend sent me a video of the side of his bed. What he found was a little bit grim... Roughly 30 bits of broken/bitten finger nail that clearly belonged to me. Needless to say I was pretty embarrassed at the sheer groseness. This in a weird way helped a little bit though, for the past few weeks I've tried my absolute best to grow my nails. They aren't perfect and just don't think they'll ever be super long but it's a start. So yeah I essentially disgusted myself enough that I decided to change my ways.

Fake tan

Fake tan, need I say more. I am a bit behind on this trend, only having started fake tanning last year, in hopes of moving away from my Twilight like skin, minus the sparkle. Again, every girl I see on Instagram seems to have glowing skin and I thought I'd give it a go, I purchased a £3 tanning mousse from Wilkos and thought I was well on my way to being a Love Islander. Instead, I turned out a bit like Georgia from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. I've tanned quite a few times since this but never get it quite perfect. First thing that baffles me is face tanning, do we or don't we? In theory a great idea and means a matching face and bod but in reality usually results in me tanning my spots until they become weird face splodges.

Let's call this one 2.5

Story time - Dumbest thing I probably ever did with fake tan over the top of my burned my nose. The picture says it all. I thought it would be a great idea to use a facial hair removing wax strip on my nose. To reduce the redness I then tanned on top. Long story short it hurts and you look like Rudolph. Don't do this.

Box dye

If you're one of those people that's always been able to afford to go to the hairdresser I envy you. For those of us who like me think £4 is a perfectly reasonable amount to pay for a whole new look, you'll know how badly this can go. Is there a box dyer out there that hasn't somehow gone ginger? It seems that whatever colour you try and dye your hair, ginger appears. On a scientific level I don't get this. This rule goes for hairdressers too, I impulsively spent £114 in my second year of uni to get my haircut and dyed. Again, I ended up with a ginger bob. I am sure some people can pull this look off but believe me when I say, I really can't. It was after this I resorted to bleach. The end result can be seen below. At the time I thought it looked great, my shower drain did beg to differ though. RIP hair.

Knowing what drink to order

OK so hear me out, I know it's massively sexist but on a date whether it be to the pub or out for dinner I kind of think it's presumed as a woman, I'll order a glass of wine or something bubbly. If you've ever seen my insta, I seemingly fit this stereotype with a glass of rose often in hand. But here's the thing, I'm pretty sure I hate it, whether it be posh wine or echo falls £2.99 it just doesn't seem to hit the spot. I've given other drinks a go don't get me wrong, beer in Prague was like 99p so I went with that. On my first date with my current boyfriend I went mega classy and ordered a vodka and coke (only a single). I much prefer a vodka but do think ordering a spirit may suggest you're looking to get trollied, which I wasn't (maybe a little).

Wearing white

As mentioned above, I love a bit of fake tan and foundation but I'm pretty sure it ruins the majority of my clothes. I am genuinely baffled how other women can wear the same if not more makeup than I do yet leave their clothes untainted. My first question, what order do we feel is optimal? I've given it a go doing all my makeup and then getting dressed after but I have pretty big hips and pulling a white dress over my head tends to lead to a lot of damage. I've also done the opposite, get ready first and then makeup after but even with a carefully formed towel bib, my powder seems to get everywhere (me trying to hair dry my makeup can be seen below). Not only that, I get a bit over heated doing my makeup covered in layers. No one wants to go out sweaty.

Thanks for reading. What dumb things have you done in the pursuit of being a girly girl? Comment below or let me know on social media!