I'm just going to start this off by saying, i'm not a particularly nice person. That's not to say i'm bad person, but what you're about to read may give the implication i'm selfless. In fact, like many, I am just extremely awkward.
Here's a list of 5 times I was too polite and the negative consequences this had on my life.
1. EVERY HAIRCUT EVER
Let's kick this one off with something at one point or other we've all had to face, a dodgy haircut. I can't speak for anyone else, but i'm not entirely sure i've ever liked a haircut.
This is no disrespect to hairdressers, rather the fault of my own split ends, but every hair cut i've had has always been shorter than I wanted. Each time this happens i'm ensured it's for the good of my hair. On a practical level I know this, yet on the inside i'm crying. It's a never ending cycle. The worst thing about this is that it's entirely my own fault.
When the big hair reveal is done and the hairdresser proudly waves a mirror behind your head, asking "is this ok?" because of politeness, I beam and usually exclaim "I LOVE IT".
2. Passing the makeup counter
"How are you today? Can I help you with anything?" These words are all too familiar when passing a makeup counter, usually coming from a glamorous looking salesperson. Slight side note, but doesn't this question make you feel like you're stealing something?
Ordinarily I don't succumb to this paranoia, choosing to whisper "no thank you" and promptly hurrying out of the store rather than just admitting i'm poor. On one occasion, this avoidance method failed, when a saleswoman in Boots persuaded me to have my makeup done at the Benefit counter.
The makeup was average but the lady smiled and asked which item I wanted to buy. 'No' didn't feel like a reasonable answer after she invested so much time in my face. So rather than be rude, I purchased a £35 face powder. Initially, I thought I could buy the item and then return it at a later date without her knowing (sneaky). Sadly, this branch was located in the rather small city of Winchester and it seemed as though this woman never went home. Eventually I gave in, used the powder, felt a little boujee. In the words of Hannah Baker, this whole endeavour began because of "that smile. That damned smile."
3. Getting the waiter's attention
Ok so this one isn't entirely my own fault, as I rarely eat out alone. I've noticed that when my friends and I go out to eat, we're all so worried about being a Karen that getting the waiter/ waitress's attention is near impossible.
This discomfort went a little extreme recently. When trying to get the bill for our food at Las Iguanas, it took over an hour for my friends and I to make eye contact. This wouldn't have been that big a deal but we were supposed to go to the cinema. In the end we took so long we missed the first 45 minutes of the film. I mean, who actually does that? You can only laugh.
4. The bus
A few weeks ago, I found myself on a bus in Wimbledon. I'm not from Wimbledon and i'm awful with direction so I felt it necessary to keep an eye on the window (as you do). As my stop approached, the worst thing happened, someone sat next to me. I ordinarily have no issue with this, but it's so awkward to get someone to move when they only just sat down and you can't exactly say, 'don't sit here'. The bus started, It was at this point I began the polite method of slowly picking up my bag, doing my coat up, putting my phone away, all to imply I had to get up soon, without having to come out and say it.
I often do this little move on the bus but on this particular occasion, as I mentioned, I was in a new town. I quickly realised that mistakenly I had tried to get up like 4 stops too early. The stress. Rather than making it look like I got up just because someone sat down, I just got off the bus in the complete wrong place. Ultimate avoidance.
5. Saying sorry for literally everything
I googled it and apparently the average Brit says ‘sorry’ around eight times per day, so I know i'm not alone in this one. I say sorry for literally everything, it's almost second nature. I can't think of a specific time i've said sorry because it consumes my life, so here's a few examples i've probably uttered at some point:
You bumped in to me? Oh God i'm so sorry
You left me on hold for 3 hours? I'm sorry, shouldn't have called
You're 2 hours late? Sorry, probably my fault, i'm early
Do you struggle with being overly polite? Does it cause you inner turmoil and embarrassment? If so, let me know! Drop me a message on my social media!
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